puedo vivir a traves de este

lately the only thing that really lifts my spirits is the music i love. from down to falling for you all this music just sends floods of warmth through my body. not even seeing the guy used to like did that. i feel incomplete and boring without it. its a part of me, and im not myself without it. i feel myself becoming dependent on it. every time i hear a song i like i just want to belt out. i know this probably isn't as normal as it seems to me, but i don't care. the three songs that fill me up the most are replay, falling for you, and party in the usa. i can't go to bed happy without hearing each of these songs. i'm becoming such a musci junkie and all i want to do is dance and sing all day long. before when i was depressed all i wanted to so was soak it in food, but now i cant eat, i cant breathe, i cant function without music. i know its not normal in any way, shape or form, but what am i going to do? im going to try and sacrifice my means of keeping sane for the benefit of others. if this is how im going to stay me and free, then im going to find a way to incorporate the music into my life. im going to make my list rite now:

If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be? What's keeping you from making that change?

I'd move to Urbana and I'd go home everyday. I can't make this change because I'm not an adult, and because my mom doesn't have the money or credit to do that.

So I liked this guy Chad*, but it turns out he's got a girlfriend who I think is gorgeous but no one else does, and I'm pretty sure he likes me closest friend and vice versa. People probably think I'm a lesbian or a ho. I know alot of the guys think I'm a lesbian, and I assure you that I'm 1,000% straight. I settled a little conflict with an ex-boyfriend and former friend, and now all I've got to look forward to is sports. Volleyball is over, and our varsity team beat TJHS and won regionals and went to the state semis but lost. now im mentally and physically preparing for lacrosse. I went to a meeting today and here's what I have learned:

- they're keeping 50 people for jv and varsity
- they're looking for people with:
         = a positive attitude and drama free
         = athleticism
         = academics
         = attendance
- tryouts are March 1st, 2nd, and 3rd
- cuts are the 3rd
- if u miss a day of tryouts they can tell u not to come back
- need a stick, goggles, mouth guard, and cleats
- all equipment needs to be our school colors
- need to wear school colors to practice
- paperwork needs to be turned in directly to coach watsic 2 weeks before tryouts including athletic fee
- winter workouts start after xmas break mon., wed., and sat.

Not only do i have to do lacrosse, but i have to try out for club volleyball this saturday and sunday. im hoping that i make it. i need more than just lacrosse workouts to keep in shape this winter.

Now that I've decided to cut a boyfriend out of the picture and focus on organizing my life and being fluent in spanish, my life is going to be very solitary for awhile and I've got to admit I'm a little afraid. I'm not a completely independent person and I love being with my friends.

We'll see how things go.   

Would you prefer fame or respect? Why?

Respect. Nothing bugs me more than when people disrespect you when all you've done is try your hardest to give it to them. And if you have respect, you'll give respect, and you'll be handed fame amongst the people you love.

Did you get that?

today during volleyball we basically did passing drills the whole time

thats my area of expertise

and i worked on my serving

and i can serve it over the net

and its crazy short

which means it'll be hard for the other team to get it

which means i proved to my coaches today that ive got what it takes

i picked it up

i kicked it all

and i have a shot at a starting position now. :)

Before today, Algebra 2 just seemed like more Algebra 1, until we started a new unit.

Now we have to solve systems of linear equations with 3 variables.

yes, THREE!

so when we graph these systems, the image will be 3-D.

Now I see the advanced-ness of my new class.

it sucks.

If you could call any living person tonight and ask him/her for advice, who would you call? (And what would you ask?)

I would call [foot]. I know, you haven't heard that name in awhile. But here's why:

That boy can smooth talk his way out of any homework assignment and find a way to let the teacher let him turn it in late. The boy's an evil mastermind, and I could really use some good way to escape the mountain of homework I have for stupid Found of Tech. 

In the state of Maryland, one of the graduation requirements is taking a class called Foundations of Technology.

This is the stupidest class on the face of the planet.

Our first class is building and programming robots to do certain tasks.

Sounds simple, right?

Effin wrong.

Our project was supposed to be done friday.

My group hasn't finished the third task.

If I get a bad grade, I might flip out.

So please excuse me while I waste the night away doing enough extra credit to cover that whole task.

Have you noticed that on some of the QotDs they're followed by bonus points if you...? How evil is that? Why can't we actually get bonus points? Oh well, I guess it really doesn't matter.